operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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