I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.