Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.

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(352): View more from Florida

I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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(480): View more from Arizona

Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(262): View more from Wisconsin

i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

(414): View more from Wisconsin

USA! USA! USA!

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(314): View more from Missouri

Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."

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(989): View more from Michigan

I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it

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