we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
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Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower