Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.