I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.