i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
