My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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