Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
