Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
