My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
