marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
