Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
