problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
