Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
