he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
