butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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