So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
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Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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