I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Drunk is not a location!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
