do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
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I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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