4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
