I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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