is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't deserve a penis
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
