i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
