Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
