that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
