after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
