i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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