In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
