is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
