Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
