sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
