smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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