Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
