to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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