No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize