I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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