All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
