..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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