Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
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The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
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It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I supernannyed him into submission
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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