I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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