I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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