So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize