hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
