He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A bitchslap is in order.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
