he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
