Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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