She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
