We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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