I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
