i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
