Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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