he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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