Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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