Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
