stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
