There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
