I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
