ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
