Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
soo... how was my night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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